From the Fringe: You Won’t Believe Why Asians Still Eat With Primitive 1200 AD Sticks

by EzekielDiet.com
Posted on Sep 30, 2024

Ezekiel Diet Note:  I don’t know what it is about women and sushi. I avoid it because I try to limit radioactive fish from my diet. More often than not I end up in sushi restaurants where the idea is to use primitive Asian sticks (from 1200 AD) to try and pinch food to get it into your mouth. I can use chopsticks okay, but prefer not to. I’ve always  believed it’s just something else trendy for Americans, “look at me I can eat raw radioactive fish and rice with sticks like primitive peasant Asians used to”. I wondered why Americans are still contributing to this peasant style of eating.

Now I know,  it’s Confucius’ fault. Confucius himself, the philosopher, endorsed eating with blunt sticks because he believed that sharp utensils like knives would remind eaters of the gruesome way the meat came to be in the bowl. Chopsticks, on the other hand, had dull ends, thus sparing their users from images of the slaughterhouse. This is what was  probably reported on the Confucius News Network (CNN) for public consumption. I think the Rulers of the day most likely just didn’t want millions of their exploited peasants owning sharp knives.

Whaaaaaaaaaat? (Add scratched record sound) I’ve struggled to eat rice and Thai noodle bowls with primitive sticks because Confucius didn’t want to remind me of the gruesome way the meat made it to my bowl. I’m sorry, but that’s a stupid reason. So everyone stop it, right away. : ) Our rulers no longer fear millions of peasants with sharp knives.

Though I do have to consider one reason Asians are so thin is Confucius has them all eating with tweezers while Americans use miniature hand shovels.

All you fat people, turn in your silverware and replace it with chopstick tweezers. This is the Asian secret. The Chopstick Diet. You wear out (eating with tweezers) before you can get enough food to get fat.

History of the fork excerpt:

The fork has the most checkered past of all eating utensils. In fact, the seemingly humble instrument was once considered quite scandalous, as Ward writes. In 1004, the Greek niece of the Byzantine emperor used a golden fork at her wedding feast in Venice, where she married the doge’s son. At the time most Europeans still ate with their fingers and knives, so the Greek bride’s newfangled implement was seen as sinfully decadent by local clergy. “God in his wisdom has provided man with natural forks—his fingers,” one of the disdainful Venetians said. “Therefore it is an insult to him to substitute artificial metal forks for them when eating.” When the bride died of the plague a few years later, Saint Peter Damian opined that it was God’s punishment for her hateful vanity.

Fast forward a few centuries, and forks had become commonplace in Italy. Again, international marriage proved the catalyst for the implement’s spread— Catherine de Medici brought a collection of silver forks from Italy to France in 1533, when she married the future King Henry II. In 1608, an English traveler to the continent, Thomas Coryate, published an account of his overseas observations, including the use of the fork, a practice he adopted himself. Although he was ridiculed at the time, acceptance of the fork soon followed.

At the beginning of the 17th century, though, forks were still uncommon in the American colonies. Ward writes that the way Americans still eat comes from the fact that the new, blunt-tipped knives imported to the colonies (due to the potential violent use against the King’s military) made it difficult to spear food, as had been the practice. Now they had to use their spoons with their left hand to steady the food while cutting with the right hand, then switch the spoon to the right hand to scoop up a bite. The “zig-zag” method, as Emily Post called it, is particular to Americans.

By the 1850s, forks were well established in the United States, where they have been used ever since.

From now on when you see a table knife with a rounded end (instead of a point), realize this is because the King of England didn’t want the angry American colonists stabbing his occupying soldiers with their cutlery. Obviously future cutlery designers who didn’t know this just kept making rounded point table knives.

And when you see chopsticks, realize that Confucius was probably shilling for the rulers of the day that didn’t want millions of exploited peasants to own sharp knives. And because no one knows this, everyone keeps using them like it’s some kind of special talent.

It was the gun control of the day.

The bottom line, our rulers are no longer worried about millions of abused peasants owning sharp knives.

All this reminds me of the Zig Ziglar pot roast story. Someone asked the hostess,”why do you cut the end off the pot roast?” She replied because my mother always cut the end off the pot roast. They called the mother who said she always saw her mother cut the end off the roast. They called the grandmother and asked her… she replied I cut the end off the pot roast because I had a very small oven.  Sometimes we keep doing things for the wrong reasons. Or reasons that no longer apply. Chopsticks and blunt ended table knives are a holdover from paranoid rulers who didn’t want to get stabbed.

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Another happy starving American on the Chopstick Diet. Look how thin, she’s looking more Asian everyday.

Why Do Chinese People Eat With Chopsticks?

Though people like to joke that a rice-staple country shouldn’t be eating with two long sticks, chopsticks lend themselves well to China‘s style of cuisine. Now ubiquitous in the country and in Chinese restaurants worldwide, they have a long and distinguished history. Here’s everything you need to know.

The earliest confirmed use of chopsticks in China was in 1200 B.C. during the Shang dynasty. Yes, the same dynasty that gave us the oracle bones and the strongest examples of ancient Chinese artifacts also originated China’s favorite utensil.

These earliest chopsticks were made of bronze and were used primarily for cooking. Designed much longer than today’s chopsticks, the bronze versions were able to reach deep into pots of boiling oil.

For almost a thousand years, this was the primary function of chopsticks – it wasn’t until 400 A.D. that they were shortened and used for eating. Around this time, cooks started chopping meat into small pieces to conserve cooking oil. Consumers quickly realized that chopsticks were perfect for moving these bite-sized pieces from bowl to mouth.

Long before this, however, the utensil had already received a celebrity endorsement from none other than Confucius himself. The philosopher believed that sharp utensils like knives would remind eaters of the gruesome way the meat came to be in the bowl. Chopsticks, on the other hand, had dull ends, thus sparing their users from images of the slaughterhouse.

Source:  https://theculturetrip.com/asia/china/articles/why-do-chinese-people-eat-with-chopsticks

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